Sunday, February 26, 2012

Love, Faith, Hope





The story of us is a story of love, faith and hope.

Love

The story of us is a story of love.

I first met him in the midst of my preparations towards my migration to Australia.  I was still in the Philippines and I was looking for possible accommodation.  When I met him online, he was nothing but a mere potential landlord.  However, somewhere between our exchanges of communication, he could not commit to hold off the room for me. The timing was not perfect and so he had to give his room to someone else who was already willing to give him the money.

I was of course disappointed.  Tsk, tsk, tsk…  And yeah, somehow pissed off.  After that failed transaction, that  to me, marked the end of our affiliation… or so I thought. 

He politely offered tour guiding assistance instead (must he be feeling bad for offering the room to someone else?), and tried to keep our communications line open - talking about the weather, and tips and advice when arriving here in Adelaide.  I in turn curtly but politely respond to his messages.  And to me it was only up to there and nothing more.  And so when he tried to again offer his free tour guiding services and meet me for coffee, I at first ignored the offer and the cunning subsequent invitations.  But his persistence paid off and eventually I graciously obliged to accept his offer.  He sounded genuine and sincere after all.

And so, February 2010, we met up for the first time.  I do not believe in love at first sight.  But we hit it off pretty well.  It was like I have known him for a long time.  I usually have my walls up high meeting someone new for the first time, but with him the walls were invisible.  I felt immediate connection and became comfortable talking to him. 

Then after one coffee to the other, coupled with scenic drives around Adelaide hills, the southern harbour, and sunset beach views, the limbic resonance grew stronger each day.  I did not plan this and neither did he.  But cupid brought us into a force field and gravity took its course.

Finding a man to love was not in my priority list at that moment.  But just as what they said, love comes at the most unexpected moment.  And there my Munchkin came, my sweet sugar surprise.

It was the beginning of our story of love.  Munchkin knows the way to my heart.  He makes me feel special and treats me like his precious princess.  He makes everyday mundane activities super special.  And although he coyly denies it, he is naturally sweet and romantic.  Behind his strong, manly, and assertive façade, is a gentle, really gentle, loving and kindred spirit.  Oh how sweet it is to be loved by him.  And yes, Munchkin spoils me so much!

The story of our love extends to his parents. His parents have also lavished me with their generosity, care and kindness.  I feel like I am welcome and part of their family.  My parents and my brother and sister also extended a warm welcome to Munchkin in our family.  They are supportive and in fact, excited, for this man who is making my heart sing.

The story of our love started like that of a romantic comedy movie.  I used to think how we would share the story of us with pride and the glow in our eyes, how we met and how the sparks flew instantly, and people will fall in love to our love story.

Faith

The story of us is a story of faith.

We have different backgrounds of faith.  I tried to resist him as hard as I could because of this.  But the gravity of our love was too much to resist. 

I tried to break away and set free.  We had our moments of separation and break ups.  And no matter how I tried to run away from him, I always see myself running back to him.  The power of love overruled the differences and the bond of love found a way to keep our hearts together. However, the story of my faith is longing to be shared, even at least in prayer with him, whilst the story of his faith cannot bring him to.  Over time, I think the story of my faith has imposed a nagging pressure on him, while the story of his faith had him enough of it.

February 2012, after two years of sweet loving relationship.  I hate to say this, but this time, it sounds final. Yes, we ended our relationship in the midst and at peak of our love for each other. 

The story of my faith makes me hope that someday he will at least be willing to try to listen.. not now, but perhaps someday even in the distant future.  But the story of his faith does not feel it and cannot see it happening not even an iota of a chance of making it possible.

He can lie to me and say that there could be a possiblity, and this issue will all go away.  But he had to be honest because he loves me.  On my part, I am willing to just even hope and not expect anything further from him.. just to hope, yes, even for a lifetime.  But he does not want to give me false hope.

We both love each other but we had to let go... Then again, I wanted to run back to him.  But he had to make the toughest decision for us, and so he let me go. I wanted it to be easy for him, so I had to let him go. 


He contends that the story of our love should make me accept him for who he is and what he is.  I  accept him and I love him for who he is and what he is.  However, to me, the story of our love should at least make him meet me half-way.


I remember one of the sweetest things he said to me.  I once asked him if he was prepared to lose me.  He responded that he is prepared to fight for me.  Spoken like a true knight in shining armor.  However, over time the story of our reality love has ebbed over the story of our euphoric love.  Perhaps somehow, this is a battle he can no longer fight. 

The story of our love has surrendered to the story of our faith.

Hope

The story of us is a story of hope.

Now, I not only cry but I weep with wailing, hoping that the pain will be washed away with my tears and the grief be expelled as I shout out loud.  The situation seems pretty hopeless.  But the story of my faith believes that there is a story of hope.

I always believe that God allows things to happen for a reason and that He works in mysterious ways.  I believe that far behind this veil of pain and sadness is a loving and compassionate God who is taking care of me and my Munchkin.  I pray that God will use our time apart to help us learn and grow to be better individuals.  I pray that God will meet us in this time of our need and will minister to us and eventually help us show  and teach us the way back to the road to recovery.

Whilst the story of us may as well look like a story of tragedy, the story of my faith hopes that in God’s time and in God’s way, He will restore the story of our love.

To me, this story has not yet ended.  It is just waiting for a new chapter to unfold.

I wish my Munchkin all the best.  I do not know if he feels and thinks the same way too. All I can tell in this period of waiting is that I hold on to the story of my love, faith and hope.

Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

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